Category: Humourous

  • Some humour for the more intelligent amongst us

    A man enters a bar in Wellington and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender. The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him: “What’s your IQ?”

    The man replies “150” and the robot proceeds to make conversation about global warming factors, Quantum physics and spirituality, bio-mimicry, environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nanotechnology, and sexual proclivities.

    The customer is very impressed and thinks, “This is really cool.” He decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around, and comes back in for another drink. Again, the robot serves him the perfectly prepared drink and asks him, “What’s your IQ?”

    The man responds, “About 100.” Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time about league, Holden racing, the new Big Mac, tattoos, Nicky Watson and women’s tits in general.

    Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides to give the robot one more test. He heads out and returns, the robot serves him and asks, “What’s your IQ?”

    The man replies, “Err, 50, I think.” And the robot says … really slowly …

    “So……………ya gonna vote for Helen again?”

  • Disappearing posts!

    I know – my blog is now shrinking. It’s not only not getting larger – it’s getting smaller!

    It’s all part of the charm. Seriously, I’ve finally had time to do some work on the servers, so there will be some posts added real soon now. Really.

    For now, take a look at some photos – which I’m also adding to as time goes by(e)

  • Spa Bath + Bubble Bath = Fun!

    bubble bath

     

    Nicci and William coped well over Christmas, considering the pool at the grandparents in Melbourne was out of action for a period of time. Nana’s spa bath, two hot water cylinders of hot water, and some bubble bath went a long way to easing the pain. It’s not often young children (especially of the male variety) want to spend so long in the bath.

  • Now an iceberg.

    Imagine the amount of alcohol one could keep cold with this little puppy πŸ™‚

  • TradeMe – where many, many, fine items can be bought and sold.

    Got to love this guy’s style :p

    I get the feeling she’s not going to be very happy with him. Perhaps the purchaser should re-list so she has a chance to buy them back…or the new boyfriend. Although the seller didn’t say whether it was a guy, or a girl of course.

  • The communications gap that exists between sexes

    Read the ad below:

    bike for sale

    Post Date: Aug 7th, 2006 Β Expire Date: Sep 6th, 2006

    $10,000 06′ Suzuki GSXR 1000 Farmington , UT 84025 – Aug 7, 2006 2006 Suzuki 1000. This bike is perfect! It has 1000 miles and has had its 500 mile dealer service. (Expensive) It’s been adult ridden, all wheels have always been on the ground. I use it as a cruiser/commuter. I’m selling it because it was purchased without proper consent of a loving wife. Apparently “do whatever the f*** you want” doesn’t mean what I thought. Call me, Steve. (801)867-8292

    Brilliant.

  • For Sale. One satellite. Slightly used. Slightly goes.

    Trademe strikes again. http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=52360702

    I wonder if the Lamborghini that was listed on trademe a month or two ago will tow it?

  • $?%^&!

    I come home after being AWOL for ages to find one Cappuccino chocolate left from a whole box of Guylian chocolates. I don’t even drink coffee you sots!

  • Smashing a Ford GT: A ‘How To’ guide

    For those who asked – here’s one potential way πŸ™‚

    1. Stop at traffic light on red
    2. Upon the light turning green, give it a bootful
    3. Rapidly release clutch, causing copious amounts of wheelspin and tire smoke
    4. Proceed to move forward slowly, at a rate of knots inconsistent with rotational rate of rear tires
    5. Enjoy the lulling effect of the rear of the car moving from side to side with increasing frequency
    6. Note with alarm the barrier approaching via the window – the window in the door, that is
    7. Brace for impact as the GT gives the barrier a nudge
    8. Decide that symmetry is important, and clean the other side of the GT out with a telephone pole
    9. Wonder why the CD didn’t skip during the aforementioned pirouettes.
  • First a Murcielago; now a Ford GT

    New Zealanders really seem to have developed a penchant for giving factory unauthorised facelifts to exoticas – the latest is this Ford GT. Even worse – these can’t be replaced once renovated, as Ford have just announced they’ve stopped production of the model.

    Ford GT

    Some of you may recognise the car in question – if you haven’t already given the person responsible some grief; please do so! It may look pretty bad, but the airbags didn’t even go off; it was a few smaller collisions with inanimate objects, as opposed to one big one.

    p.s. I said I wouldn’t email the pics to all and sundry – as anyone can attest to – I didn’t email pics to anyone πŸ™‚